冷笑话是近几年新兴的一种语言现象,它轻松诙谐、别具一格,给我们紧张的生活增添了几分轻松的情趣,它一出现便受到了大多数人的喜爱。小编精心收集了简单英语笑话短文，供大家欣赏学习!
The visit to the doctor
拜访医师
A Man asked his doctor if he thought he'd live to be a hundred .
一个男人问他的医师是否认为他会活到一百岁。
The doctor asked the man ,"Do you smoke or drink ?"
医师问这个男人：“你抽烟或喝酒吗?”
" No ,"he replied , "I have never done either ."
他回答说：“不，我从不抽烟喝酒。”
" Do you gamble,drive fast cars ,and fool around with woman?" inquired the doctor .
医师问说：“你赌博、开快车、玩女人吗?”
"No,I have done any of those things either."
“不，我也从不干那些事情。”
"Well then," said the doctor ," what do you want to live to be a hundred for?"
医师说：“那你干吗要活到一百岁呀?”
简单英语笑话短文篇2All In the family
都在这一家
Eight-year-old Sally brought her report card home from school .
八十岁大的 莎莉从学校把她的成绩报告卡带回家。
Her marks were good mostly .
她的成绩不错，
A's and a couple of B'S .
大部分都是A，还有几个B。
However ,her teacher had written across the bottom,
可是， 她韵老师在卡片下方写道：
"SALLY is a smart little girl,but she has one fault,
“莎莉是个聪明的小女孩，但是她有一个毛病。
she talks too much in school.I have an idea I am going to try,
她在学校太爱讲话。我有一个想法我要来试试看，
which I think may break her of the bad habit."
我认为.这个想法可能会让她改掉这个坏习惯。”
Sally's dad signed her report card,
莎莉的爸爸签了她的学习报告卡，
putting a note on the back ,
并在卡片背面注记：
"Please let me know if your idea work on SALLY
“如果你的想法对莎莉很有效，请你让我知道，
because I would like to try it out on her mother."
因为我想要把它试用在她妈妈身上。
简单英语笑话短文篇3Laboratory Tests
实验室检查
Two children were sitting outside a clinic.
有两个小孩子坐在一间诊疗室外面。
One of them was crying very loudly.
其中一个小孩子哭得非常犬声。
2nd Child;Why are you crying?
第二位小孩子说：“你为什么哭呀?”
1st Child:I came here for blood test.
第一位小孩子说：“我来这里验血呀”
2nd Child：So?Are you afraid?
第二位小孩子说：“那又怎样?你害怕呀?”
1st Child :No the blood test,they cut my finger.
第一位小孩子说：“不怕呀，又不是那样啦。因为验血的话，他们要割我的手指头啦。”
At this,the second one started crying.
一听到这么说，第二位小孩子就开始哭了，
The first one was astonished.
第一位小孩子就非常惊讶。
1st Child :Why are you crying now?
第一位小孩子说：“你现在为什幺哭呀?”
2nd Child :I have come for my urine?test!
第二位小孩子说：“我来这里微尿液检验的啦.!”
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