话可能只是文字游戏,但有时它在人们解决生活中的困惑时起着重要作用。下面是本站小编带来的令人笑到停不下来的英文笑话，欢迎阅读!
Good Intentions
One day a boy came to his teacher and said: "Teacher, pa wants to know if you like roast1 pig."
"I certainly do," said the teacher, "and you tell your father he is very kind to think of me."
Days passed, and nothing more was said about the roast pig.
Finally the teacher said to the boy: "I thought your father was going to send me over some roast pig."
"Yes," said the boy, "He did intend to, but the pig got well."
一天有个男孩去对他老师说：“老师，我爸想知道你是不是爱吃烤猪肉。”
“当然罗，”老师说，“去告诉你父亲，多谢他想着我。”
好几天过去了，再没提起考猪肉的事儿。
最后老师对男孩说：“我以为你父亲要给我送点烤猪肉来呢。”
“是啊，”孩子说，“他是这么想的，可后来猪又没病了。”
令人笑到停不下来的英文笑话篇二Who's carrying the bags
My youngest brother, Tony, had just completed basic training and was home on leave prior to his first tour in Germany. Since I was an Army National Guard pilot and my another brother was my crew chief, we offered to take Tony to catch his transport overseas.
When we landed at Air Force Base, several of Tony's fellow privates came out to greet him. Tony ran ahead, while my another brother and I followed with his gear1. As Tony approached hisbuddies2, he was bewildered3(困惑的) by their dumbfounded(目瞪口呆的) stares.
Finally, he realized his friends weren't seeing his two brothers giving him a lift, they were seeing a new private arrive in his own helicopter -- with his captain and sergeant4 carrying his bags!
我最年幼的弟弟托尼刚刚完成基本训练，在进行第一次德国之行前请假回家。我是国民警卫队的飞行员，我的另一个弟弟是我们部门的长官，我们提出去送托尼。
当我们在空军基地降落时，托尼的几个士兵朋友出来迎接他。托尼跑在前面，而我和另一个弟弟提着他的衣物跟在后面。当托尼跑向他的伙伴时，他们目瞪口呆的神情让托尼很是疑惑。
最后，他意识到，他的朋友看到的不是他的两个哥哥在给他提行李，他们看到的是一个新兵从他自己的直升机走下来，身后跟着给他提行李的队长和士兵。
令人笑到停不下来的英文笑话篇三Let the chicken live
I wanted to make my mark as the new food-service officer at a recruit training center. The menu was loaded with red meat, so I devised a new one to reduce cholesterol1(胆固醇). I substituted chicken for beef, and awaited comments from the suggestion box.
The first one summed up the recruits' feelings. It read simply,″Let the chicken live.″
我在新兵训练中心当上后勤服务长官时,想留下一些功绩。因为菜单上都是红肉，所以我设计了一个新的菜单，用鸡肉来代替牛肉，以减少胆固醇。我等待着来自意见箱的评价。
第一个意见总结出了新兵们的感觉，写得很简单：“让鸡活着吧。”
令人笑到停不下来的英文笑话篇四A drunk 醉汉
A drunk phoned police to report that thieves had been in his car. "They've stolen the dashboard, the steering1 wheel, even the brake pedal!" he cried out.
However, before the police investigation2 could start, the phone rang a second time "Never mind," the drunk said with a hiccup3, "I got in the back seat by mistake."
一个醉汉打电话给警察局，报告小偷光顾了他的车，“他们偷走了仪表盘、方向盘，甚至连刹车脚板都偷走了。”
然而在警察还没有开始调查时，电话又一次响了起来，“没事了”，醉汉打着嗝说，“我不小心坐到了后座上。”
令人笑到停不下来的英文笑话篇五He is really somebody 他真是一个大人物
-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.
-- He is really somebody. What does he do?
-- A maintenance man in a cemetery1.
-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。
-- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的?
-- 墓地守墓人。
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